In its all pathetic glory!
by PotterGrrl
Summary: Hermione's dark, dark, dark secret...well, not really. just some stupid thing I came up with. That's all.
1. Hermione's secret is revealed!

In its all pathetic glory  
  
As Harry entered the Gryffindor common room he gasped. He dropped his books and covered his mouth.  
  
Harry: Hermione! What are you doing?  
  
Hermione: Harry, I can't stop!!! Hermione shrieked. She kept on dusting, mopping, and cleaning. It was now apparent to Harry.  
  
Hermione was a cleanophobic. She couldn't stop cleaning.  
  
Harry: Hermione, put down the broom.  
  
Hermione: I can't.  
  
Harry: Put down the broom.  
  
Hermione: No.  
  
Harry: Put down the broom!  
  
Hermione: NO!  
  
Harry and Hermione struggle for a few seconds over the broom and finally, Harry has the broom and his glasses are broken and hanging by one ear.  
  
Harry: I never knew!  
  
Hermione: *sits on ground and cries*  
  
Harry: Ummmmmm...Hermione? How long has this been going on?  
  
Hermione: *continues crying*  
  
Harry: OK, then. Maybe I'll just go get a teacher or something. *slowly, tries backing out of the room*  
  
Hermione: Harry, NO! You can't let anybody know!! This is MY problem so I will deal with by MYSELF! *marches out of the room*  
  
Harry: Do you think that is such…whatever. I don't have the energy.  
  
Ron enters the room.  
  
Ron: What was that all about?  
  
Harry: Nothing.  
  
Ron: Are you sure? Because I could have sworn-  
  
Harry: Trust me it was nothing.  
  
Hermione enters with a broom and a mop and starts cleaning around Ron and Harry's feet.  
  
Ron: Now, Harry, this is something.  
  
Harry: Nope. It's nothing.  
  
Hermione leaves and goes into her room to do more cleaning.  
  
Harry (before Ron even says anything): Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  
  
Ron: Well, ummmmmm…if that's what you say.  
  
Lavender comes in.  
  
Lavender: Where's Hermione?  
  
Harry: Nothing.  
  
Lavender: What? Ron, where's Hermione? She said she would help me with my studies! I'm really doing down in Muggle Studies.  
  
Ron: I believe she's doing nothing.  
  
Lavender: OK, that's great! *calling for Hermione*  
  
Harry: I'm going for a walk. There's nothing going on here.  
  
*Harry leaves*  
  
Ron: Well...ummmmmm…well…I'm going too.  
  
To be continued…  
  
Next chapter we will learn about Hermione and her problem and how it came to be! Till next time…adieu! 


	2. Hermione and her problem...

Hermione's secret.HAHAHA!  
  
Harry and Ron are watching Hermione clean their dorm.  
  
Ron: I always wondered how it got so clean here.interesting way of finding out.  
  
Harry: It's really nothing, you know.  
  
Ron: Will you SHUT UP, Harry!  
  
Lavender and Ginny come in singing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" waving their hands about. When done, applause from all over come suddenly at the couple. They bow and leave.  
  
Ron: Well, ummmmmm, ok then.  
  
Harry: Now, that was something!  
  
Ron: I agree!  
  
Hermione: *screams* Who came and left footprints all over the floor?!?! AHHHHHHH!  
  
Ron: Hermione?  
  
Hermione is too busy scrubbing and brooming the floor.  
  
Ron: Harry, I really think we should do something about Hermione.  
  
Harry: Why should we do something about nothing?  
  
Ron: OK, THAT'S IT! Leave me alone!  
  
Harry shuffles out of the room.  
  
Ron: *sigh* Thank God! Now, Hermione! I think it's about time you stop this.HERMIONE! Are you even listening to me?  
  
Hermione: No. Now leave before you get dirt on the floor!  
  
Ron: This is my room! Leave!  
  
Hermione: NEVER!!!  
  
Ron and Hermione fight, rolling around on the floor. Seamus walks in.  
  
Seamus: Catfight!  
  
People scurry over to watch and our disappointed it's not two girls, but still make bets on who will win over the broom.  
  
Harry: Hermione will so win!  
  
Percy: I know my Ron! He'll sooooooooo win!  
  
Harry: Bet ya 15 galleons!  
  
Harry and Percy make bet. Catfight continues and Hermione is victorious with the broom.  
  
Harry: Give me the 15 galleons now Percy!  
  
Percy: See.here's the problem, Harry: I kinda, sorta, don't really, have 15 galleons.  
  
Harry punches Percy. Falls on the floor unconscious.  
  
Ron has a bloody nose and looks down at Percy.  
  
Ron: Too bad, so sad.he was a bit of a wimp anyway.  
  
Hermione continues cleaning and everyone leaves except Ron and Harry.  
  
Ron: Please don't say that was nothing because I don't think I can take it.  
  
Harry: But Ron it really was-  
  
Ron punches Harry unconscious.  
  
Ron: Thank GOD! Now, Hermione.please let go of the broom.  
  
Hermione hits Ron with broom and knocks him unconscious.  
  
Percy wakes up and rushes over to Ron.  
  
Percy: *crying and holding Ron* Oh, Rooooooon!!!! My little brother!!  
  
Hermione: You know, he'll wake up. He isn't dead.  
  
Percy: *dropping Ron* Oh, well, that's good. I'll just leave then.  
  
Percy leaves and Hermione continues cleaning.  
  
Will Hermione ever get over her obsessive habit of cleaning, or will another catfight erupt? Stay tuned!  
  
Muhahaha!!!  
  
A/N We all know these aren't my characters, so no one sue *lawyers approach with briefcases* NOOOOOOOOO!!! *Runs away screaming* 


End file.
